This is my official post #100! If you’ve been following me from the beginning, you may know that there were a large number of posts I cut out when coworkers found my blog. But as it stands now, this is number one-zero-zero! And I’m very proud.

To commemorate this occasion, here are 100 things you may or may not have known about me sexually!

1. I love sex.
2. I lost my virginity at 18, in the back of a car, on prom night.
3. I had my tongue pierced for four reasons: a) it was 2-4-1 piercing day at the parlor, b) I loved the way it looked, c) I admit, I did want to use it while giving head, and d) my man at the time had his done and ohgodyes did that ever feel good!
4. I like it rough.
5. My ‘number’ is between 15 and 25.
6. I regret only one of those.
7. I’ve been titty-fucked.
8. I’ve had a MMF threesome.
9. I haven’t had a FFM threesome (but I want to!).
10. I’ve dated and/or slept with guys of these nationalities: Persian, Saudi Arabian, Russian (x2), Indian, English, Lebanese, Kurdish, Cuban, South African, Mexican, and American.
11. I have an FBI record for dating the Saudi Arabian… and the FBI knew details of my sex life I hadn’t given them myself. Creepy. [Only now, I share my sex life with the entire internet, so I guess I can't really complain.]
12. I used to get sent home early from pre-school for taking my clothes off and trying to chase the boys so I could kiss them.
13. My first serious boyfriend (age 16) once tried to get me to touch his penis (I had never before touched one!), and when I said no, we compromised that I would just “look at it for a little bit.”
14. I was once choked during sex (by someone I trust to the highest degree). It was hot.
15. I used whipped cream as a sex toy for the first time when I was 17.
16. I love being on top… but I love it more if he’s grabbing my hips and moving me up and down.
17. I have a clitoral hood piercing.
18. I’ve had sex on a kitchen counter… that wasn’t mine. Or his.
19. I’m incredibly aroused by women, especially lesbian porn… but in practice, I’m totally straight.
20. I’ve been tied up.
21. I’ve tied someone up.
22. The oldest person I’ve had sex with was 17 years my senior.
23. I once stuck the handle of a hairbrush up someone’s ass.
24. I only have one nipple pierced, and I’ll probably keep it that way.
25. I once got fingered in a sandbox at a playground (I was 17). It definitely wasn’t a repeat experience.
26. My favorite movie sex scene is in The Red Violin, when the gypsy girl is fucking the violinist as he plays.
27. I’ve had sex in front of a stranger.
28. I like to read Craigslist ads searching for a girl for a FFM threesome. I’ve never responded, but I think it would be really hot to be a “couple’s toy” for a night.
29. I like nibbling on ears.
30. A recurring theme in my fantasies is being slammed up against the wall.
31. One of my hottest sexual experiences was Engineer fucking me as we both watched ourselves in the mirror.
32. I love watching guys masturbate.
33. I’ve always, always wanted to have sex in a library.
34. I used to work for Starbucks and I always wanted to do an HNT in just my green apron… Unfortunately, I gave them all away when I quit.
35. I think champagne is the sexiest drink to have with a lover. It has a sexy name, it comes in a sexy glass, and it has a sophistication to it that even wine does not.
36. In that vein, I have always wanted someone to drizzle champagne on me and lick it off.
37. In high school, I was the romantic and my best friend Bear was the sex goddess. Not that she isn’t any less goddess-y, but now, the roles have sort of switched. As is, she prefers relationships and I enjoy casual sex.
38. I buy bedsheets based on how sexy I think they look.
39. I love water sex – I’ve had sex in a pool, a shower, and a hot tub. I also love making out in the rain and hope to have sex during a thunderstorm.
40. I’ve never owned more than two sex toys at a time.
41. In Israel, I once had to deter a guy who was trying to have sex with me in a bathroom. My Hebrew isn’t great, so the only thing I could think to say was, “Bad time of the month!” (which wasn’t true!).
42. I used to fuck a customer from the bar who we all called Motorcycle Marty.
43. Since getting to the UK, I’ve had sex only seven times.
44. I had sex in the middle of a baseball diamond.
45. I’ve fucked a college football player.
46. My almost first kiss resulted in me laughing in the guy’s face. Oops! But to be fair, he tried while my dad was driving him home and we were in the backseat. It was not the time nor the place.
47. Ever since I became confident sexually, I’ve wanted to have revenge sex with this guy I met freshman year. I had sucked, and he was a jerk.
48. My favorite toy right now is my LELO Lily that RainCityBaby got me.
49. Three people I’ve slept with know about this blog. I don’t think any of them read it regularly and I’m not sure one of them has ever even looked for it.
50. In the last week, I have made myself cum at least three times a day.
51. The most used tags for my blog are (in alphabetical order): breasts, cock, dating, fucking, HNT, pussy, sex, and the Engineer.
52. I think my ass is my best sexual feature. So do most of my sexual partners.
53. Despite that, I’ve never had anal sex.
54. I have been rimmed though.
55. I prefer finger-fucking to oral sex, but it’s best if they’re combined.
56. I used to hate having my breasts touched. It reminded me of my first boyfriend.
57. My first vibrator was actually really good. It was a multi-speed/multi-function ribbed bullet which was incredibly powerful and lasted a year and a half until I dropped it.
58. I started reading sex blogs when I googled “How to give a blowjob” and landed on The Over-Educated Nympho’s How-To. I was 18.
59. My roommate freshman year and I once tried to learn how to dirty talk by writing an anonymous naughty letter to one of the boys down the hall. We taped it to his door and ran away giggling. It had choice phrases like “I love your coffee-colored skin and want you to put your cream in my cup.”
60. I once gave someone a blowjob in his kitchen while a party happened in his living room.
61. I think the sexiest thing about a man is the V of his hips leading down to his cock. I love when his trousers slip just enough that it’s subtly visible.
62. I once had sex on a giant trampoline.
63. I’ve had sex with a guy who had a Prince Albert.
64. I really want to fuck a guy with a strap-on.
65. The second guy I ever had sex with was a frat guy with a “reputation.” Screw the rep, we were safe, and he really knew what he was doing.
66. I like ribbed condoms better than smooth.
67. I hate when guys are quiet in bed. I like to hear you moaning as you cum.
68. I always tear up a little when I deep-throat… and for some reason, I love how sexy and slutty that makes me feel.
69. I don’t like 69ing. Can’t concentrate on what I’m doing. Two people doing half-assed oral isn’t as good as one person giving their full attention.
70. I like (rationally) jealous boyfriends.
71. I like silly sex.
72. I once had sex after drinking a few shots of Absinthe. It was incredibly heightened sensation-wise and we had to stop because it felt so good it hurt.
73. I am really turned on by being told what to do.
74. I have never ‘made love.’
75. I love teasing a guy while he’s on the phone.
76. One of my hottest first kisses with a guy was in a theatre dressing room.
77. I am often the one to take initiative sexually.
78. I think spontaneous bondage – being tied up with a tie, a belt, or some other everyday object – is infinitely hotter than bondage toys.
79. Until recently, I could not always make myself cum during masturbation.
80. My first real orgasm was during a bubble bath.
81. I once signed up for a Sugar Daddy dating website. I went on one dinner date, but it was really not my thing. Nothing happened.
82. I read somewhere vanilla, as a scent, is one of the strongest aphrodisiacs for men, so I always try to have something with vanilla in it in my bathing/perfume routine. Currently, it’s a vanilla bodywash.
83. I love playing with nipples.
84. If ever necessary, I have music picked out to striptease to.
85. Before I leave university, I really want to fuck a professor.
86. I don’t own any panties that aren’t thongs or boyshorts. No granny panties or even bikini briefs in my underwear drawer! (Oh, wait. Except ONE pair that is lacey and leopard print, but y’know. Close enough.)
87. I really want to fuck Jonathan Rhys Meyers.
88. My best friend Bear taught me how to give head with a big, black, suction cup dildo.
89. I love having my hair pulled.
90. I sometimes forget how non-vanilla I am and how many non-vanilla things I’m aware about that others aren’t and shock people.
91. I’ve had sex with a sexy firefighter, though he wasn’t wearing his uniform at the time. Backdraft was on in the background, though…
92. I wish more guys would want you to put your finger up their ass.
93. I love being naked.
94. I think it’s fun to go out somewhere “freshly fucked”.
95. A partner and I once broke a key off a keyboard AND a blender in what he referred to as the “throes of passion.”
96. I hate sex terms like “donkey punch”, “Dirty Sanchez”, etc. I especially hate “superman”, but that’s mostly because Soulja Boy is an idiot.
97. I think sexting is totally hot.
98. I was once given a joke candy-cane shaped vibe for X-mas… and he totally used it on me later that night.
99. I have incredibly nice canvas posters on my wall… of yummy erotica.
100. I’m cheating for #100… It’s my HNT! But you get four pictures this week and a bit more than I usually show (above the neck, anyway ;P risky? perhaps… but I like a little risk!), so I think it’s worth #100.

*click*

Last week for Halloween, I was a faerie. I found this wonderful Venetian carnival mask…

*click!*

Don’t forget to stop on by Osbasso’s! Happy Half-Nekkid Thursday everyone, and Happy 100 to me!

I wasn’t going to write about this. I was going to pretend like it had never happened. But I write about sex as a university/college experience and I realized, in the end, I should write about it. I think it’s a legitimate fear and sometimes reality for many Uni students, especially the girls, although it clearly affects the boys as well. I know this isn’t the first time this has happened to me (although it is certainly the most dire). Warning: This got incredibly long, but I hope all the information is beneficial.

WHAT TO DO IF YOU THINK YOU’RE PREGNANT AT UNIVERSITY

1. This is incredibly easy to say and sometimes not as easy to do, but step number one is take precaution. What is the saying? An ounce of caution is worth a pound of cure? Something like that. Anyway, my point is: USE CONDOMS. Take birth control. In fact, most effectively, use condoms AND take birth control. I should hope I don’t need to remind my readers of this, but reliance on only the woman’s birth control such as the pill, the shot, or an IUD will not protect against any STIs.

If you’re curious about how to effectively put on a condom, take a look here. If you want to buy condoms which do some good in the world, take a look at One Condoms. UK readers can buy One Condoms at the Co-Op, by the way, since they aren’t available online in the UK. If you don’t think you can afford condoms and are living on Top Ramen/Cup-O-Noodles in your dorm, most campus health centers and Planned Parenthoods, as well as most free walk-in clinics, offer FREE condoms. And sometimes even lube! My secret condom supplier when I need free stuff is the gay bar my flatmates like to go to. They always have free packs of condoms and lube (next to pamphlets on how to come out to your parents and poppers safety…).

ALSO: many UK clinics/doctors are offering an implant which I believe goes in your arm, although I have very little information about it except what the doctor told me as I shook from preggo-scare-fear in his chair. I think he said it lasts three years? If anyone has information about this, let me know!

2. But if everything was perfect, I wouldn’t be writing this post, would I? I had an incident with condom breakage. Because yes, condoms do break! They are very effective when used properly but say your partner carries his in his wallet, where it isn’t exactly safe, or you accidentally use a condom which has expired, there is a chance of tearing. Or you might be a typical college kid and you’ve just had a long night out drinking, getting wasted, and blacking out, and you wake up next to some guy whose name you don’t know and you’re not sure what happened the night before, and you don’t see any condom wrappers anywhere, and you’ve forgotten to take your birth control because it’s finals week and you’re so stressed out about exams that it slipped your mind…

Well, you get the picture. Shit happens. Things don’t always go as planned. And luckily, there is an option. The “Morning After Pill”, also called Emergency Contraception, which is usually 1.5 mg dose of levenorgestrel (Plan B, Levonelle, NorLevo, Postinor-2). I imagine this is what you’ll get when you go to the pharmacy and ask for emergency contraception, as the three times I’ve had to do it, that’s what I received. Yes, three times. Twice in my drunken sophomoric youth and now, here, in the UK, when a partner and I had a condom break. But as many times as I’ve had to use it, please don’t rely on this as a form of birth control – it’s not. It should be for birth control mishaps, birth control misuses, and the odd drunken mistake (and I don’t mean a ‘mistake’ like you woke up next to that awful D-bag from your art history lecture, though you wouldn’t want his baby, anyway).

Where can you get it? I can only give advice on the USA and the UK here, but your local pharmacy should have it and willingly dispense it. It’s similarly priced in both places – about $45. Planned Parenthood also offers it (I find PP to be hard to get into in my home state and often paid the pharmacy price to avoid the long waits. Some places will be better than others, obviously). Boots in the UK has it for sure, and you can pay, or go to a walk-in clinic or GP and get a prescription to receive it free. In both countries, your campus health center should have resources either to dispense the pill or to send you to somewhere which can. I highly recommend utilizing your campus health center. This is a common issue for more students than you think and I assure you, they’ve dealt with it before and probably have exceedingly good advice about emergency contraception and contraception/safe sex in general. In all locations, they may refuse to dispense it if your worrisome sexcapade was more than 72 hours prior to your request for the pill.

Speaking of 72 hours, this is the recommended window of time in which you should get emergency contraception. GET IT AS EARLY AS POSSIBLE. Emergency contraception is more effective the sooner it is taken after sex. I don’t mean you should run out to 24-Hour pharmacy down the road ten seconds after he’s cum and you’ve got man-juice still leaking down your thigh, buuuut it is best to take it ASAP. Even just before sex is effective (though sort of weird if you already have it handy…).

For more resources on Plan B, check out the company’s website here.

3. Well, here we are. You’ve fucked up your BC, and now you’ve waited too long or are unsure about your EC. I kid, no blame placing here, because that’s where I’m at. Limbo. Purgatory. Am I or not? This is the height of Pregnancy Scare – hyperanalyzing your symptoms (was I *craving* those pickles or just hungry? Was that morning sickness or did I down too many tequila shots last night?), googling “Am I pregnant?”, and ticking down the days until your period starts.

The next step is to take a pregnancy test. Home pregnancy tests are usually quite accurate, measuring the levels of hCG in your wee. This is really best if you’ve missed a period, since that provides a timeline. The first day after your missed period will show levels of hCG, and the levels become stronger every day after that (peaking during the third month, or the 60th to 90th days).

Where do you find one? Grocery stores, pharmacies… They’re pretty widely available. My friends have all shared pretty funny, awkward stories about buying them (I bought mine with a box of tampons [just in case it comes!], two huge bars of chocolate, and a large bottle of water). To be fair, it rests on the cashier’s shoulders to be professional about your purchase and I guarantee they’ve had girls in buying them before. Also, some brands are better than others (First Response, Clear Blue), but are more expensive due to a clearer reading/higher sensitivity to hCG. That isn’t to say that grocery store brand won’t work, it just means you might not get an accurate reading until later in your cycle.

I think the two-pack is best for putting your mind at ease. At least, that’s what I’ve done this time around. It makes it easy to use one early on to sort of settle yourself and de-stress, and then if your period still hasn’t come, the second one is always there to cement the answer. I still don’t have the urge to pee yet, though, so mine is still up in the air…

Pregnancy tests can, obviously, also be done by a doctor, either with urine or blood. I haven’t had this done, but I believe they usually do a blood sample. This is much more reliable, but sometimes more nerve-wracking. Home pregnancy tests are quicker and more private, but if you do get a positive, call your doctor/go to campus health and arrange for a blood test. After you’ve had a good cry, anyway. And some ice cream.

Do bring along a sorority sister or bff, even just on your way to get the pregnancy test. Some people would rather do it alone, and I won’t knock that, but for most young women, I think it’s nice to have someone you trust around. This can be a really emotional experience, especially if it’s your first big pregnancy scare (which, for most college students, it will be). I do advise picking a friend who is supportive of sex and whatever decision you might need to make in the end, and NOT a friend who will guilt you for your sexuality or the choice you make if you are pregnant. The last stressor you want is your own friend frowning on you for something you can’t change.

4. Okay. So by now, with the condom failure, emergency contraception woes, and the big pink plus sign indicating a positive you hadn’t planned for… What now?

Well, I don’t intend this to be a post on “You’re pregnant in college, what do you do?” I think the options list is too wide and too extensive to explore in this particular post. But again, I stress campus health and Planned Parenthood (and your regular GP or doctor if you’re comfortable with that). They will always talk to you about all your options and help you make the decision that’s best for your view and your situation physically and mentally.

A quick run-down of those options is:

A) Carry the baby to term and keep it.

B) Carry the baby to term and find an adoptive family, making the decision about either an open or closed adoption process.

C) Abort the fetus (using medicine within 49 days of gestation or surgically in first 12 weeks to 16 weeks, after which it is illegal to abort in the USA).

I admit that it isn’t always the right thing to do to talk to your partner about the decision, though in any case, I do believe the man has a right to know if the baby has been carried to term. Some situations warrant not informing the partner of a decision to terminate the pregnancy (one night stands, for example, since you might have ‘accidentally’ deleted his number due to his poor finger-fucking skills or disappointing whiskey dick). In any situation, don’t forget about your mental health as well as your physical. Sometimes knowing a pregnancy termination is the right decision for you may still result in mental duress.

In any case, campus health, campus health, campus health, Planned Parenthood, Planned Parenthood, Planned Parenthood! To find your campus health center, access your school website. For your closest PP, check out the website here. These are least expensive and most helpful and readily available options for most college students. If you’re living in a dorm, these are great because they are usually nearby or accessible by public transportation, even when your usual doctor is not (after all, you may be out-of-state or even out of the country!).

I hope that was helpful – I know my first pregnancy scare at university was a horrible experience, and this one, being so far away from home, hasn’t been great either. Feel free to leave more questions in the comments and to offer any other resources if you have them!

Wish me luck, by the way… I finally have the urge to pee…

[Disturbia - Rihanna]

I have decided to end things with Bad Boy. I’m really sad about that, as I have no doubt we would have continued to have fantastic sex and to explore things we’ve both wanted to do – IF it had never been brought up. However, I can’t forget the secret he told me and it makes me extremely uncomfortable. Because of the way he presented it to me, I will always have it in my head and will not be able to enjoy sex with him.

It is really difficult for me to accept in myself an inability to accept someone’s sexual kinks. I usually strive to learn about and understand even the most ‘out there’ fetishes, but this turned my stomach. It surprised me to find the line of where my sexual boundaries end based on not just distaste, but disturbance factor.

So, there you are. Even as a sex-positive, GGG, open sex blogger, I have a line I can’t cross. I’m really sorry to have figured it out this way. I dread BB’s next phone call because I haven’t yet told him I need to end it between us.

Please let the Engineer get sent to my city again! I miss him and his gorgeous cock. Especially with the loss of BB, I will be hornier than ever. I don’t want to let the Engineer even leave the hotel bed…

[Unsaid - The Fray]

When is it okay to reveal a deep, dark secret from your past?

I am not dating Bad Boy, but last night (after I gave in, texted him, and ended up at his house at 2 a.m.) he divulged to me a few things I was not fully comfortable knowing… I understood why he brought it up, as it totally had an effect on his sexuality and the kinks we’re beginning to explore together, but I had to stop him in the middle of his THIRD story about this secret and tell him, “Hey, I have no problem talking about this, but it doesn’t turn me on, and so maybe during sex isn’t the best time?”

Considering he wanted to fetishize it, it made me really uncomfortable. And even though I told him we should talk about it later, I am not his girlfriend and I am not his therapist and I am not responsible for this “deep, dark secret.”

It wasn’t weird enough for me to stop fucking him. After all, once I asked him to stop talking about it, he did. For some people, it might have been the kind of thing to send them running for the door, but I am not your usual sex partner. If it gets brought up again, then I would probably approach it in a more serious manner, but for now, I just want to let it go far, far away from my mind.

I admit I have indulged the need to talk and have whispered secrets I maybe shouldn’t have shared about my past. The Performer and I actually had a really deep conversation about dark things that had happened to us that I was not even aware I was okay with sharing (especially not with someone I might never see again). But it was the kind of beautiful moment that left both of us teared up and holding one another, not wondering if sanity has temporarily fled the mind.

So what do you think?

(Just so you know, the rest of the night was fucking AWESOME, as was this morning/afternoon, so it didn’t put a damper on the sex, but it did get me thinking.)

Why do I love Playboy? A post I’ve thought about for weeks but didn’t know how to go about…

I don’t have a subscription to Playboy. I haven’t read the articles (despite being told by anxious men how good they are), and I couldn’t tell you much about the history of the magazine. As Playboy fans go, I’m not a devotee. In fact, I used to look at that pert bunny symbol and think, “Ugh, trashy!” I used to think the girls that idolized Playmates were blonde bimbos and the men who got a hard-on for those fake titted wonders were misogynistic trailer trash.

How wrong I was.

Doorman and Amazon Goddess have an obsession with it – Doorman did their whole bedroom in bunny gear, complete with canvas wall hangings of AG’s favorite Playmates. They had a bunny clock, a bunny lava lamp, a bunny blanket, and the bathroom is done up in pictures of The Girls Next Door frolicking around the Grotto.

I’m sure I grimaced the first time I saw their room. But then I got curious – the photos were sexy, and more erotic than pornographic, and these three ‘girlfriends’ of Hugh Hefner’s were in a romantic and sexual situation that most vanilla lovers can’t handle. How did it work? I had to know!

I watched every single episode of The Girls Next Door that I could get my hands on. The show is addictive, to say the least. But it lacked something. Where were the bunny outfits? Except for one or two episodes where the girls did a special presentation for the troops, most of the time they were bouncing around the Mansion in bunny sweats or going out on the town with Hef in sexy cocktail dresses.

I needed the explanation of bunny suits to understand my new pull to Playboy. The models rarely wear them in the magazine but they are such a blatant image of the brand name. They were classic, tailored to a T, and so sultry. They weren’t the symbol of a white trash decal stuck on someone’s car, but instead those little costumes seemed to be flavored with James Bond mystery, dripping with high-lifestyle Vegas class, and whispering seductively, “Here is your drink, sir.” Where the hell did they play in to this sexual revolution that was Playboy Magazine?

1960 – the first Playboy club opens in Chicago. The girls are dressed in the freshly designed bunny suit – satin bodices, cufflinks and ties, and the flirty bunny ears and tail which would soon become legendary. True to Hefner’s ideal woman, the suits were made only in 34D and 36D.

As a waitress/cocktail server myself, I found this next bit of history extraordinarily enticing – the girls are given a manual and “Bunny Training” on how to be a proper Playboy Bunny. Everything from how to act with men to how to carry your tray (there is a special Bunny Dip which I painstakingly learned how to properly in order to serve drinks at the bar). It was the suave 60’s sexy – alluring, but strangely innocent in the untouchable nature of the Bunny. And who doesn’t want to be a Bond girl? The Keyholder rules of the club offered a clientele who were usually debonair, the old-style gentleman you rarely see anymore. The girls were all different, from blondes to brunettes, but all of them were perfect because they were Bunnies.

This was what won me over fully as a Playboy fan. Yes, the practices of the magazine are a little shady (rumors of how Playmates get to be Playmates are sleazy) and rarely feminist-friendly. The strange accounts of what happen in Hefner’s bedroom are a little frightening. Maybe the ideal of beauty shown isn’t your average woman. But what I wouldn’t give to be one of those club Bunnies! The black nylon stockings, the trim little heels… Everything about that costume is a hint to sex and I love sex. It’s more understated than the nude centerfolds and it’s more overstated than any other cocktail waitress, well, anywhere.

Discovering the history of the clubs was a task that took me hours. It was like I was researching a term paper, except that I was drinking the information in like a dirty martini. After that, I got it. I found satin Playboy sheets and a gray Playboy throw. I bought a Playboy overnight bag for travelling and won a Playboy flask at a gift exchange party. The symbol was no longer ‘dirty’ to me, but instead, a real sign of something sexy, a throw-back to the decades old image of the coy cocktail girls Hefner shaped into a national desire.

That is why I love Playboy. If I could work at the new Playboy Club in Vegas… I would be a very happy Coquitten.

I can’t believe I forgot to link to Sex is Fun before this!

Sex is Fun is my favorite sex positive podcast and now that I have a brand new [read: used, in great condition off eBay] iPod I can listen to it all the time everywhere!

Some of my favorite afternoons were when Bear and I lived together and we would both get home from work, turn on Sex is Fun with our [fabulous, amazing, wonderful, you NEED this book] Guide to Getting it On by Paul Joannides and discussing sex and all the proponents thereof. If this isn’t an aftenoon pastime of yours, it is time to start.

Currently listening to: SiF #147 Friends with Benefits – A great discussion of why and how fuckbuddies work/don’t work.

One thing I really love about this show is that you don’t have to listen to them in order. There’s a series on College Sex that is great, and they do reviews of books and toys all the time. What’s also really nice is the many different points of views, but all sex positive.

Speaking of sex positive, I did the responsible thing and went to the STD clinic today! So far, I am HIV negative [and symptomless for other things, but I won't know for five days for sure]. If you haven’t been tested this year or since you last had unprotected sex with someone who hasn’t been tested lately, GO! It’s worth the peace of mind.

In order to avoid condomless sex happening again, I went  to the local sex shop [the one who interviewed but didn't hire me *pout*] and bought some goodies! I drooled over all the lovely vibes, restraints, and books, but I ended up with:

I know, more Bunny stuff – I promise that post is still coming. Can I help it if I have Playboy satin sheets? ;P I thought it made a nice little backdrop!

ONE Mixed Pleasures Condoms and Case – These are my find of the week since I had never seen them before and this little mix case is awesome. If you don’t have a condom case, you need one! Condoms are not safe in wallets and purses, but hidden away in these cute little compact shaped tins, they are kept whole and effective. Also, the ONE condoms are packaged with over 120 designs, and you don’t know what you get until you open the tin! I thought this was really cool, because it adds a little surprise to your condoming. You can see all those above that I got – my favorite is the radar detecting the sperm. I also REALLY like that the directions shown above include lube application! It’s like a helpful reminder to make everything feel good for everyone! ONE condoms are available here. Check out the website to order condoms, vote for new packet designs, and sign a Safe Sex pledge!

Trojan Magnums 3 Pack (so no one can ever tell me that they aren’t “comfortable” – by the way, ONE also offers an XL condom, called The Legend, but I didn’t know until just now)

ID Pleasure Water-Based Lube (pillow-pack)

Spontaneous purchase of “Whoopie Cream” – supposedly enhances arousal? It was at the front counter and I tossed it in.

So I DID try the Whoopie Cream out, but, um, got interrupted when my iPod got delivered. At first, I didn’t really notice any difference, it just made things slightly slicker. But I went to go buy an iPod case and things got very, very wet. Way wetter than normal “I’m walking into a Radio Shack and talking to an awkward employee” wet (which isn’t very wet at all, really). However, I didn’t feel more ‘aroused’ in the sense that I didn’t want to run home and flick away at my clit until I came. I could see this helping sex be less lube-y and more ‘natural’, but not more tingly or explosive.

I look forward to an actual trial. ;P

On the importance of proper background noise -

During the Engineer’s last visit, he dropped into the hotel during his lunch hour. I was sitting cross-legged and mostly naked on the bed, partially waiting for him and partially watching a special on early Nazism on the History Channel.

He laughed at my ‘laziness’ (really, I couldn’t leave the room without getting locked out, so I didn’t bother getting dressed), then came over and kissed the top of my head, his hand lingering on my shoulder before dropping down to cup my breasts. I feigned dressing and bent over in front of him to pick up my discarded clothes from the night before, and within seconds I was bent over on the bed, his cock hard and teasing at the opening between my thighs.

“And in 1938, the Nazi Party…” Whoa, whoa, whoa! NOT sexy, dirty talk!

The Engineer didn’t notice, but all the Holocaust talk was making my poor little Jewish vagina quiver in terror and distraction. Nazis and Pre-WWII Germany just didn’t make me wet…! In fact, if anything, I was drying up, so I frantically grabbed for the remote on the other end of the bed and switched off the television. Blissful silence! And now I could properly hear the Engineer’s groans of pleasure, too. Yum. That was a sound I could get used to.

So what IS appropriate for sexing to avoid embarrassing distractions like the Power Rangers theme sifting into your iTunes shuffle mix or your noisy roommate’s through-the-wall phone conversation? I propose these choices:

1. Nothing!: Sometimes it is best just to have sex to your own sweet noises. The slick slap of skin on skin, light whimpers, soft moans, loud moans, nasty, naughty, dirty talk (“I’m going to fuck your sweet little pussy so hard and you’re gonna’ lick me clean…” “Ohhhh, yes, please, fuck me, I just want you inside me NOW!”), name-calling (“Slut!”, “Cocksucker!”, and “Jake, Jake, Jaaaaaake! Oh, JAKE!”*). I even like the delicious wet noise my cunt makes when I’m so dripping-ready for fingers, or tongue, or cock… Not to mention it is always good to monitor the pounding of the bed against the wall and the squeak of the mattress springs – you never know when they might collapse on you!
2. Low Televison/Movie Noises: The only reason I’m including this is because sometimes, when watching tv or a movie with a partner, hands wander and bits touch. In my experience, this is usually comfortable and sweet sex, which I don’t really like much anymore, and very “homey.” However! Just like the History Channel did to me, your TV may spring some audible gem on you like when I was making out with my high school boyfriend on his mom’s couch after getting distracted from watching Team America and the vomit scene came on. God. That was awful. Hindsight? I don’t really recommend this. Just… pause it. Or turn it off.
3. MAKE A PLAYLIST!!!: My FAVORITE option! As a musician, singer, and music-lover, I have been constructing playlists to match moods for years. From “Summery California Roadtrip” to “Fantasies of Violins” to “Dance It Out”, my iTunes is arranged and rearranged multiple times. But you want to hear about the SEX, right? These are all playlists I made specifically for fucking and GOD some of these songs are hot!

• I Lust You – The first playlist I made. Mostly songs that just had to do with sex and weren’t always ’sexy’ (“Toucha-Toucha-Touch Me” from Rocky Horror was on there, afterall). There’s a lot of tango music on here, too, including the tango from the scene in Mr. and Mrs. Smith (a movie which always kind of turns me on) Assassin’s Tango. Oh, and pretty much every piece I possess by Antonio Vivaldi (demonstrated there by the sexy Vanessa Mae), who I would make sweet, sweet love to if he weren’t, y’know, dead.
• seXXXy – This is the playlist I like to play for myself, either while I get ready to play sexy or when I’m getting sexy with my own fingers or toys. This includes songs like Handsome Boy Modeling School’s “I’ve Been Thinking” (sensual, slow, yearning), Melanie Fiona’s “Give It To Me Right” (lusty, burlesque-y, demanding), Lady Gaga’s “I Like It Rough” (describes my tastes a bit, doesn’t it?), and The Fugees’ “Killing Me Softly” (classic, fantasy, soulful). Lots of similar things on this mix – very feminine, powerful, and luscious,though .
• Take Me – This is the playlist I composed for hardcore, raw FUCKING. Without question, “Closer” by Nine Inch Nails is on here (geeked a little bit, since I just saw the Star Trek movie today… I’m not a huge fan, but I do love the Kirk/Spock slash in this video!). Also, I have Massive Attack’s “Dissolved Girl” (gorgeous, driving, deep), “Undenied” by Portishead (really, anything by them, but this song is like red nails clutching into the flesh of someone’s back and close, intense, passionate thrusts), Garbage’s “#1 Crush” (those opening moans really do it, don’t they?), and Kanye West’s “Love Lockdown” (poppy, but love the beat).

• Tease – The stripping playlist, or the “ah, ah, not yet *wink*” playlist! Definitely includes “Come On Closer” by Jem which is hands down one of the sexiest songs ever recorded. If you don’t start taking your clothes off to just the music of this song, then listen to the lyrics! Guaranteed to get you hot. Other songs on this playlist: “Slave 4 U” by Britney Spears (engaging, playful, submissive), “I Turn My Camera On” by Spoon (satisfied, selfish, pleasing), “Lights On” by The Pierces (I’m not a Gossip Girl fan, but it was the best version I could find on YouTube… this song is just pure tease, I adore it. The lyrics are very clever, too!), and another perfect striptease song, “Nasty, Naughty Boy” by Christina Aguilera (nasty [of course], naughty [well, duh], scrumptious).

There are other songs I love as well, but those are most of my favorites. As I find more, I’ll certainly share them with you! Nothing like a good fuck-song passed between friends.

*I have never actually screamed Jake’s name in bed. I have never actually met Jake. But I feel like he must have that effect on women he sleeps with and so he makes a cameo that way.

[The continuation of my Top Ten Turn Ons! Part One Here]

5. Words – This could move up to number one if I’m in the right mood. Words are my line of study and I try to surround myself with them as often as possible. The number of books I own has grown exponentially since my last bookshelf purge, and that includes three or four erotica short story collections. Literary erotica gets me so much pleasure, and if I’m feeling aroused and by myself, I like to immerse myself in it. I also think that an important aspect of flirting in this age of technology is TEXTING. I don’t mean “lol u r sxxxy” but “I’m sitting in class and I can’t stop thinking about the way you fucked me last night…” or “I’m so wet right now, it’s hard to concentrate on my work. ;P” I even like “Fuck me. Hard. Tonight.” All kinds of sexting is at your fingertips (literally), and I think it’s a great foreplay for foreplay. It’s a great way to communicate your desires to fuckbuddies and hook-ups without getting involved with shit like phone conversation or dating. I think it’s safe to say that any man or woman who can use words properly can be sexy with dirty talk (something I’m still working on myself, though), dirty texts, and dirty literature.

4. Music – You may not have noticed, but every single one of my titles is based on the lyrics of a song (except the HNT posts). Music is… passion. Music fuels so much of my life. Before being a creative writing major, I was a vocal performance major. I acted and sang in musical theatre in high school, I played violin from the tender age of five to the sullen age of fourteen, and music theory used to be one of my geeky joys (though I’ve forgotten most of it now). Imagine how bewildered and ecstatic I was when I realized the effect music had on me sexually! I know the exact moment, too. I was lying in bed, listening to “Palladio” by Karl Jenkins (the “diamonds” song – you can listen to a rockin’ version of it here while watching the very sexy eScala). I pictured myself as a grown woman, performing this song with my lover in the audience. The scene switched back and forth between the intensity of a soloist’s concentration, beads of sweat forming on her brow, and her romantic tryst after the concert as her lover pulled her upstairs to their dark New York loft and slammed her down on the bed, wild with lust after seeing her perform. The piece is a constant back-and-forth between the string instruments and my mind wandered back and forth from the concert hall to the narrow, sinful staircase. That did it – after that, every song had a story behind it. Classical music, especially, but then I melted into everything – jazz, big band, cabaret, musicals, and then I discovered club music, hip-hop, some rap, reggaton, salsa… I made playlists anticipating having sex to them – “I Lust You”, “seXXXy”, “Take Me”, “Tease”. I’ve never actually had sex to any of my playlists, though. It’s sort of a shame. But get me in a room with a low, dark beat and a sultry, sexy voice crooning some kind of taboo intimacy, and I have to grind against you until we both can’t take it.

If only I had an iPod…! I would love to combine music and sex with this or this.

[I have a longer post on music coming up... just getting my thoughts together about it!]

3. Intelligence – After the Engineer, I realized just how important intelligence was to me. It’s not just about your math skills, but let’s be honest, stupid people aren’t attractive. My High School Boyfriend was not the brightest and it ended up being part of our downfall as a couple (that, and the fact that I wanted sex a helluva lot more than he did).

Gotta’ face it, kiddos, you can’t have witty banter without wit. And half of flirting, in my opinion, is witty banter! Coyly throwing challenges at your opponent and weaving in subtle innuendo is another foreplay to foreplay (just like sexting!). But if I meet a guy in a bar, he’s cute, and all he can say is, “Duh, wanna’ go home with me?”, then it is NOT going to happen. And by meet a guy in a bar, I mean, you know, after my 21st birthday on Monday. ;P

2. High Heels/Stilettos – God… yes… As creepy as it was, I have to give Rocket Scientist credit for his appreciation of heels. I own at least twenty pairs of shoes, more than half of which are heels. I have black stilettos, dark red pumps, silver heels, black kitten heels (which are not my favorite pair because of how short they are, but I do love the word ‘kitten’!)… The ones I like best are my ‘Schoolgirl Heels’ – gray and black plaid with a sweet silver buckle (it just so happens they match my so-short-it’s-unfit-for-public-outings schoolgirl skirt, too).

I like girls who wear sexy heels. I like girls who wear stiletto-ed boots. I like the way a heel shapes my calves and makes my ass taut, pushed out, and pouty. I like leaving my heels on, especially with thigh highs and a garter belt. I don’t have the money to have a shoe fetish like Carrie Bradshaw, but I do have the desire for it. If I can help it, I never wear flats. School and work keep me in slip ons and sneakers, but for any other situation, I WILL ‘click-click-click’ down the hallway in heels.

And the number one turn-on for your sex-loving Coquitten…

1. ROUGH LOVERS – He slammed her up against the wall, pulling her head back by her hair so that his lips could smother hers. His other hand pinned her wrists above her head with sheer brute force, and she would have fought harder to free them, except that his knee shoved under her skirt and between her thighs was making her weak as it rubbed mercilessly against her soaked panties…

Okay, it’s not my best work of fiction, and it’s a little cliche, but give it to me like that I will dissolve into a puddle of cum. I want to be slammed and pressed and forced and twisted. I want to be tied up and taken advantage of, kissed hard, and fucked harder. Being roughed up makes me moan and I like that spank, that bite, that hair pull…

I don’t want a BDSM relationship. That lifestyle is not for me – even isolated just to the bedroom. And yes! I like to be the dominant one every once in a while! I don’t like to bleed, or bruise (at least… not anywhere visible ;P), and I definitely wouldn’t trust someone to play these desires out to the max unless I really knew them.

But I like to be taken, not coaxed, and seduction is better if your heart is racing. Being told what to do is a fantasy of mine that no one has really grabbed hold of and accomplished yet. I love the idea of teasing someone until they can’t handle it and subsequently losing control of the situation. Cocksucker! I don’t wanna’ fucking make love! I wanna get FUCKED by you!

[Turn Me On - Norah Jones]

Getting ready for bed last night, I swept my hair into a high ponytail (think of the title character from “I Dream of Jeanie”), and I realized I found that high ponytail really, really sexy. I like to look at girls who have their hair pulled back high and tight, either in buns like ballet dancers, up and loose to keep their neck cool while they work out, or that genie hairstyle (which practically screams “submission”, by the way). I realized it was kind of an odd thing to find arousing, but there you have it: girls with high ponytails turn me on. Provided the rest of them isn’t decked out super eighties.

So, I thought about making a list of all the things that turn me on. My mind raced and the list was about a mile long before I could even get my hand down my pants. I realized the list would be so long and elastic that to really do my turn-ons justice, I would have to update and re-link to it every single week! Solution? A Top Ten! And high ponytails didn’t even make the cut!

Here you are, 10-6:

10. Rain/Thunderstorms – I think I like to be scared. No, really. I hated thunderstorms when I was a little kid, but my parents (being of the science variety) would sit me down in front of our giant glass window and gently talk me through the phenomena of lightning, thunder, and storms. I didn’t jump any less at the CRACKA-BOOM, but I did get a thrill counting the seconds after lightning struck and anticipating the coming noise.

Somewhere in my pubescent years, I began to fantasize about having sex during a thunderstorm. The sweaty, sticky summer monsoons were perfect fodder for this – it was warm enough to want to be outside in the rain, drenched from head to toe, and it was still dangerous and thrilling enough to see and hear the volley between light and sound. Past boyfriends of mine know I start squirm the moment dark clouds fill the air, aching to be outside, pressed against someone else, and absolutely dripping wet. Needless to say, I’ve spent some summer nights cooped up inside and frustrated beyond belief.

9. Blonds – Here’s a strange one, mostly because I never anticipate liking blonds. My ideal man is medium height, stocky and muscled, the color of cafe-con-leche, and has deep brown curls. But the majority of my boyfriends and lovers have been blond and blue-eyed! My first two boyfriends were tall, skinny blonds, the Russian is a wild-haired, sandy blond, the Firefighter is a stocky, muscled blond, Engineer is blond… Excepting for when I went through my Arab phase (with THE Ex and the couple lovers I had that stemmed from that circle), all my great sexcapades have been with delicious, light-haired men!

I haven’t had any female lovers yet, so I don’t know what the trend will be. I tend to fantasize about brunettes, but the girls I like best have been from my blonde-filled guilty pleasure (The Girls Next Door – Hugh Hefner’s former three girlfriends, Bridget, Holly, and Kendra), and my sapphic dream was a blonde, too.

8. Being Held From Behind – THE Ex used to sidle up behind me, snake his arms around my waist, and press me to him. I don’t know if it was because it was so possessive or if I just liked the intense closeness and way our bodies fit together, but I loved it. Held like this, I would feel him grow hard against the soft curve of my ass, and that felt powerful. At the same time, there was a tantalizing feeling of being powerLESS because he would have such a tight grip on my body from there. I never felt unsafe, mind you, just… dominated. I loved standing like that with him; on his balcony, against his car, wherever.

7. Spanking – I suppose this one could fit into some of my other turn-ons, but I think it warrants its own category. I feel let down if I’m being taken from behind, my ass round and pushed out into the air and it isn’t being spanked. I have a BOOTY and my curved white cheeks like attention. Doggie style feels great for lots of reasons, but it feels better if there’s a red handprint blooming on my skin.

Other times I also love being spanked: Making dinner with someone in the kitchen. A quick, hard slap as Doorman passes me in the server station at work (“Take it,” he barks when I mew a fake protest). Any moment that I have to bend over (provided I have enough balance so I don’t faceplant). Straddled on top of a guy with his cock plunged tight in my pussy. In the shower (water makes it sting a little more and the noise is quite a bit louder). It’s never been done to me, but I’d love to be ‘punished’ as a bad girl and held over someone’s knee (we talked about it, the Firefighter and I, but I think it weirded him out because he was already a father and I was already so much younger than he was). Anytime!

6. Muscle Cars – Guilty. I love fast cars. I love sexy, sleek cars. I know jack shit about engines or models and makes, but I know when it revs with a loud purr and shines from babied care that I like it. THE Ex had a gorgeous car. It was his ‘other’ girlfriend – black and orange, loud and fast. You may not believe me, but I liked cars before that. I collected Hot Wheels and Matchbox Cars and I constructed car models when I was bored on the weekends in high school. But it was THE Ex’s car which absolutely slicked my panties.

When I first met him, I had no idea what his car was like. In fact, it was broken down on the side of the road that night (he fucked up the clutch). I’m throwing that in as my disclaimer that I do NOT judge men by their cars. If I’m attracted, I couldn’t care less. But as a bonus… Mmm… THE Ex took me out one night knowing that I was a sucker for a fast drive. We were broken up at the time, and he wanted to get back together. His strategy worked. We flew down the street, my heart pounding, his eyes constantly flicking in my direction to see my reaction, the speedometer wavering past 120, 130, 140… It only went up to 160, and it fluttered past that for a few seconds before the stretch of straight, unpoliced highway ended and we had to slow down. I felt oversexed before he even touched me. It was amazing.

Camaros, Trans Ams, Mustangs… everything turned my head after that. I’ve calmed down a little bit, but I still look in car windows to see if the driver is as sexy as the machine.

Beginning with 5, the countdown to 1 will follow shortly!

My best friend Bear has this theory that the less clothes you wear on a regular basis, the better you look with less clothes on. Does that make sense?

When Bear and I lived together (about a year ago), we spent very little time clothed in our apartment. I would come home to Bear cooking pasta in a thong, Bear with only a laptop covering her bits, Bear watching Queer as Folk and sprawled out naked on the living room floor (we had a ‘couch’ – but it was a tablecloth we spread out on the floor where we wanted a couch to be)…

So I quickly adjusted. I shed my clothes the minute I got home from work. I didn’t wear a towel after my shower. I slept in absolutely nothing. We spent days together at the pool in our bikinis, we wore shorts and sports bras to the grocery store, and one time, we even went to the zoo wearing only sarongs (tied up at our necks, but still, there was nothing underneath).

Now, Bear is a dancer, and she’s got a gorgeous body. It’s muscled in places only dancers are muscled and, despite her burrito addiction, she is proportionally perfect. But besides her dance work-out, there is just something naturally well-formed about her, and I think her theory is true. Because when I lived with her and had a place to be naked as often as possible without worrying about who was going to see me,  I was in the best shape of my life. I was curvy but thin in the right places and I weighed significantly less than I do now.

So my goal is to be naked. As often as possible. It’s hard where I’m currently living, but I can do it at the very least in my own room. I want to be as secure with my body as I was when I used to come home, toss my purse onto the ‘couch’, and hear Bear exclaim, “Coquitten, how the FUCK did you get naked so fast?”

On another note, I drank an entire bottle of wine and told a classmate over Facebook Chat that he was fuckable, and that we should have sex instead of attending class on Tuesday.

I need to get waxed again.